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Los Angeles Times Valley Edition | Glendale News-Press | 2005 June 18
Conversations with a stranger
BY PATRICK AZADIAN
Second of two parts. Dedicated to all the honest Bobs in Glendale.
Two weeks ago I wrote about my online correspondence with a reader named Bob, regarding his personal observations about "Armenian behavior" here in Glendale.
Bob had read my columns in the Glendale News-Press and thought that perhaps I would be able to offer suggestions.
Although he had been exposed to some negative experiences during his short stay in Glendale, he had reserved final judgment on some of the inhabitants of our city. Since I was asked to explain, I decided to do the best I could in clearing up some situations for the reader. Later, I thought it might be interesting to share our communication with readers.
I decided to keep the scope of my explanations to a small subcategory of Armenians who are new to this land, and are still unfamiliar with its customs and culture.
Bob's last experience turned out to be the hardest for me to comment on. He observed: "I went into a pastry shop and was made to wait while the person behind the counter waited on Armenians who came in after I did."
On this specific phenomenon my explanation was the following: "I don't really have an answer for you, but to call it bad business on behalf of the pastry shop.
But I shared a story about myself. I was born in Iran, a predominantly Muslim country with a small Christian Armenian population. One day when I was on vacation in a small town where my grandparents lived and the Armenian population was even smaller than my hometown, my mom sent me to buy fresh bread from the neighborhood bakery.
I arrived at the bakery around 7 a.m. and managed to leave at about 11 the same morning. That made it a four-hour wait to buy a piece of bread.
Being a young city boy, all the baked goods passed me by and those who seemed to be locals and were very aggressive in their approach got priority. I was too embarrassed to return home without the purchase, but did not have the skills or the rough looks to survive in that environment. Somehow, my white shorts and clean-cut look did not command much respect with the baker.
Once everyone in the small town had gotten their share, I was left standing at the counter striking a lonely figure. This is when the bakery owner approached me and wondered whose grandson I was. I replied and received a brief apology for my troubles; I was awarded the goods for my resilience and headed home to my family.
Meanwhile, my mom had reported me missing to the city police. Once I got over the shame of not delivering in time and being on the missing list with the local officials, I realized I had learned some survival tactics specific to that environment.
I was hesitant to give Bob any advice regarding the pastry shop; I did not want to encourage rudeness or aggression.
I simply suggested: Don't be afraid of being a little bit aggressive in some of these ethnic stores. It is not considered rude. In many parts of the world, being passive when you are shopping is seen as being uninterested. You can be stepped all over.
Of course, there is no need to go overboard, but standing your ground can be helpful in almost any immigrant operated market.
I closed my response to Bob with: "I hope I shed some light on the mysterious world of Armenians for you. I thank you for your open-mindedness in giving the people the benefit of the doubt when you came across unusual behavior, and I hope you enjoy engaging your newfound neighbors; they can be a colorful and hospitable people. They can also momentarily transform you to exotic places without the expense of an airfare."
Weeks later I got a second response from Bob. He had taken my advice when visiting a Shakey's Pizza, apparently operated by Armenians. He wrote: "I had the opportunity to go to Shakey's Pizza today in Glendale. What an experience! It was a culture blast, if I ever saw one. I took your advice and was aggressive myself with a smile on my face and a firm gentleness in my heart. It worked for the most part."
I am glad I was able to help. I thank Bob for reminding me that our city's glass is half full, rather than empty.
Copyright 2005 Glendale News Press
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