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FROM THE MARGINS | BY PATRICK AZADIAN
Los Angeles Times Valley Edition | Glendale News-Press | April 8 2006

Toward a crutch-less society

After being in voluntary and involuntary exiles from Armenian-American enclaves for years, I found my way to Glendale.

I was looking forward to the new experience. I'd be close to my family and friends, and would have instant access to 'lavashak' (a sour prune fruit roll, effective in curing severe cases of constipation).

Right before I was ready to move into my apartment, my buddy Vrej tried to burst my bubble. He said: "Welcome, but they don't like our kind here."

With a name like Vrej, which means "revenge," I shouldn't have expected anything positive. Whether he's named "revenge" signifying survival against genocide, or his parents assumed someone was taking revenge on them as soon as they laid eyes on their newborn in the delivery room, is still a mystery to me.

Nevertheless, Vrej gave me a chilling welcome. But, I was old enough to know I had to make up my own mind based on my own experiences.

I arrived at my freshly painted and re-carpeted apartment. I was looking forward to seeing how the tan, terracotta and the grey-brown interior paint had combined. The elimination of the cottage cheese ceiling was also exciting.

As I walked up the stairs, I ran into a lady who seemed to be a neighbor. I smiled and greeted her. In return, I got a cold stare.

"Here we go?" I wondered. Was this what Vrej had warned me about?

I reminded myself of my own motto: "People are assumed nice, until proven otherwise." From time to time, I also need to make a note to self that I am not the center of universe. People have their own issues to deal with on a daily basis.

The next day, I ran into the same lady. This time, Jo (Joanne) greeted me with a smile and an apology. She explained: "I am sorry if I was not in a good mood yesterday; my cat died."

I was relieved... not because of her cat's destiny, but because of the state of Vrej's prophecy.

At the time, Jo was one of the four ladies in my building whom I considered native Glendalians. Many of them have lived here for more than a quarter century.

A year later, Jo kindly offered me the use of her parking spaces. A favor I truly appreciated; I have a habit of buying old cars.

During my first week at my new apartment, I also met Anne. She not only took the initiative and greeted me, but also invited me in to see her apartment.

I was pleasantly surprised at her friendliness.

Her apartment was immaculate; the combination of turquoise, cream and brown that reminded me of my ex-mother-in-law's classic taste in furniture. When I invited Anne to see my place, she left with a complimentary remark: "You can tell this is a man's apartment. I am glad I have a young man living across from me. Welcome!"

A year later, Anne checked into assistant living. She was already in her late 80s. I have very good memories of her.

In the same week, I met Betty and Gerry (Geraldine). I often see them in the garage, returning from their daily excursions.

On those occasions when I wake up late enough on a Saturday morning to miss my copy of the Glendale News-Press, they kindly save me one.

A few weeks ago, I ran into Betty and Gerry in the garage. They were both laughing, and when I asked them the source of their joyous occasion, Gerry responded: "Betty thinks, you are a car thief. You have so many cars!"

I reminded them that the total value of all my cars is probably less than a Toyota Camry.

"Betty thinks what she thinks!" Gerry said, as they continued to have some kind-hearted fun at my expense.

By this time, I knew them well enough to know there was no malice in their remarks.

Last week I paid all the ladies individual visits to get their permission to use their names in this story.

Betty gave me her blessing with a condition: "As long as you know I was joking with you!"

This particular group of "native" girls seem to like me. And if people don't like me, it's not because of my ethnic makeup. That's not a crutch I can use.

Copyright 2006 Glendale News Press