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By Dustin
Glendale, California
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"I am a 20 year old Glendale New-Press reader. I work at Starbucks here in Glendale on Pacific. After reading your article, "Sumo wrestling for bucks, honor," I couldn't help but laugh. The article describes my workplace in every way. I think maybe every cashier in Glendale has to deal with at least ten of these sumo wrestling stand offs per hour. But I think one thing you should have included is that after the five minute fight over who has to pay, the winner usually throws down a $100 bill when the total is only $3.10. After he is told that he can't pay with the $100 bill, his friend throws down a credit card while the guy with the $100 bill gives the cashier a cold, threatening stare. The stare continues until he is out of the store. Well written article; I really enjoy the different observations you make on everyday situation. Keep writing and I'll keep reading."
FROM THE MARGINS | BY PATRICK AZADIAN
Los Angeles Times Valley Edition | Glendale News-Press | December 2 2006
Sumo wrestling for bucks, honor
A visit to the coffee shop with the green mermaid logo can be a source of frustration or amusement, depending on whether I am in a rush or having a lazy day. It is one of those places where regardless of one's social status, ethnic background or size of car rims, we can all feel equal. Under one happy roof, the homeless and the fat cats can co-mingle. There is a certain populist kibbutz feel to the whole place. I like it.
One of the situations I find interesting when I go there is the sight of two grown men fighting over a tab of $3.50.
It never fails, especially if I'm behind the two who look like they can be named Harut and Arbi. The results are even more dramatic when there is a long line behind them waiting to get a morning buzz.
The process of arguing over who'll pay begins mildly. The race suddenly gathers pace as soon as the cashier announces the total of the bill. As sneaky Arbi quietly reaches for his right pocket with his right hand, Harut responds by shouting "angarely eh" ('it's impossible' in Armenian) while gently placing his left hand on Arbi's right wrist. This is the initial attempt to prevent Arbi from paying.
Inevitably, Arbi will try to outsmart Harut by sliding his left hand over his belly to reach his right pocket, where bundles of cash reside. Harut knows the routine, and will forcefully intercept Arbi's left wrist to gain the advantage. At this stage, while the two men are entangled holding each other's hands and wrists, a friendly shouting match will begin.
Harut will repeat, "Chullar, angareli eh!" ('I won't allow it! Impossible!'), as he tries to free his right hand by holding Arbi's both hands with his left. Arbi on the other hand, will resist by saying: "Cheh, mammees arev chem toghnee." ('No! On my mother's honor, I won't let this happen!'), while struggling to get his right hand out of Harut's rough grip.
The struggle will continue until the two men are completely entangled with each other. The process comes to a standoff as Harut and Arbi end up taking a motionless sumo-wrestler stance staring at each other square in the eyes.
The only way out of this face-off is if Harut concedes by saying: "OK, toon as meguh vjareh, Carooseluh yes 'take care' gunem." ('OK, you pay for this; I'll take care of lunch at Carousel.').
Arbi will pretend to agree, but it'll be the same story at lunch.
Most Glendale cashiers are used to the routine. Often, the guy in the pretty green apron will be staring at the ceiling, covering his yawn by his left hand, while his right hand fingers will be tapping on the counter constantly waiting for the outcome of the contest. "Tap, tap, yawn, stare, tap, tap, yawn, stare..."
At this point, I like to get the full effect of the situation by turning around casually and looking at the faces behind me.
Regardless of their cultural background, many will be shaking their heads as they sport a wry smile, either signifying mild frustration or embarrassment.
Others will be tapping their feet on the floor while nervously looking out the window to see if they are getting ticketed by the trusty Glendale Police force for double-parking. The rest may be patiently smiling at the situation.
If I am in a rush (and the fellows are wearing a lot of gold jewelry), I will see the situation as somewhat annoying. If it's Sunday morning and I have nowhere to go but to my mom's, then I appreciate the humor. The situation can even give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. I may think to myself: "How nice... friends taking care of friends."
To avoid having the same situation happen to me, I warn my friends before reaching the counter. Beirut-born Hrair, who is most likely to pull off such a stunt, is always warned beforehand. I tell him in advance: "Hrair, if you insist on paying, I will never speak to you again." Or I can say: "You are buying." Still, even with taking all the necessary precautions, I may end up in the sumo-wrestler stance.
I think the solution to this madness is to give up on coffee altogether. It's not good for the heart, it eats up the body's calcium and my mom tells me it may even induce memory loss. We'll see... The New Year is right around the corner, and I am desperately in need of some resolutions I can break by mid-January.
Copyright 2006 Glendale News Press
